Is it Confidence or Arrogance?

How do others perceive you? Do they like, admire and respect you? Or, do they recoil at the sound of your name? In far too many cases, it is the latter. In all areas of society; whether it is in business, politics or socially, there is a definitive line between our being confident and being arrogant. Both involve a very strong belief in yourself. But there are those who do not understand the difference between the two. The lack of understanding usually falls upon those who demonstrate arrogance. But let’s be clear. If you truly want to be a successful person in every area of life and develop a solid reputation among all of your peers, then it is important that you understand the differences between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is a belief in yourself and the abilities and talents you may possess. Arrogance is a belief that you are better than others. Confidence seeks to unite and inspire. Arrogance tries to divide and undermine. Confidence is attractive. Arrogance is repugnant.

The root of arrogance may very well be insecurity. This is because insecurity lies at the root of all of the traits associated with arrogance. For instance, people who are arrogant are condescending. They have set up false beliefs about themselves to compensate for their perceived weaknesses. They talk over people, interrupt, walk with an unusual strut or stride; they always have an answer and never admit when they are wrong. They brag and talk about themselves, refuse to give credit to anyone else and always take credit for accomplishments that are worthy. Another tell-tale sign of arrogance is that they constantly one-up everyone else. If you mention an accomplishment to someone who is arrogant, they inevitably tell you about an accomplishment of theirs which will always be greater than yours. They offer no compliments, give no credit and always show up late to meetings or keep people waiting. They avoid making eye contact with others, drop names of influential people they know and always work behind your back to ensure that you do not supersede them in anything that you do. They are toxic to any person, office, organization or groups with which they are associated.

Confidence, on the other hand, is a wonderful trait. Confident people are completely secure in who they are. This extends to their weaknesses. They are at ease with themselves in what they can or cannot do. They always admit when they are wrong; for they fear no judgment. They always give credit to others when they do well. They will always engage people, compliment them and seek to uplift those around them to bring out a person’s best. They are completely responsible, always show up on time when they are expected and demonstrate respect to everyone around them. They do not fear others who may surpass them, and encourage greatness in everyone who does. They are humble, kind, generous and motivating.

Let’s face it. We all have weaknesses. In fact, we each have more weaknesses than we do strengths. No one is a Superman or a Wonder Woman. Confidence does not assume one is the best or better than others. Confidence is a feeling of ease with oneself and a secure knowledge in his or her abilities with an acceptance of his or her weaknesses. So, when dealing with one who is arrogant, we should show pity, not hate. For they are truly lonely, weak people who falsely believe the road to success lies in the trampling and destruction of others rather than the inspiration and motivation that comes from confidence.